Better the Devil You Know – Valerie Robinson
1400 words Humour
When a policeman going on his nightly rounds meets a naked middle-aged woman lurking in a respectable suburb he knows what his job requires him to do. But she is not what she seems and the outcome is not what he expects…
‘‘Look, I can explain…’’ I couldn’t, of course. Not a chance. It didn’t look good. I imagine the last thing any policeman expects as he goes on his nightly rounds is to find a middle-aged woman without a stitch on, lurking behind a hedge in a respectable suburb. But when I straightened up from putting my clothes in the bag I’d brought, there he was: uniform-suited and black-polish-booted. From the expression on his face he was struggling to maintain an appropriate degree of seriousness. I detected more than a hint of smirk.
Ego – Valerie Robinson
2000 words Humour / General Fiction
Moving back to live with parents is always difficult, even without the added complications of a dog called Ego, a beautiful girl with a poodle and the realisation that the adult world presents challenges that have to be met by personal change and understanding.
I owned a dog once. I’d sort of fallen into caring for him, though he did the usual irritating stuff: chewed shoes, stole my food, bit the postman. We were together for nearly three months before I gave him up. I’d moved back to my parents’ place. Not out of choice, but what can you do when you lose the roof over your head? That landlord had no heart, or soul for that matter. And like the poem says, ‘Home is where you go and they have to take you in’. Anyway, they did. Take me in, I mean. Me and Ego the dog, though it took a bit of persuading for either of us. They’re cat people, my ma and pa, but the last one had just died.